The Cullen House

I'm finally finishing up our Portland posts...nearly ONE YEAR LATER!

Better late than never I say.

On the last day of our spring vacation, we headed over to a quiet neighborhood in the NW quadrant of Portland that borders Forest Park.

(image is a screen shot from the movie, that's not my Volvo! )

Does this look familiar to any, uh Twilight fans out there?

"How It Should Have Ended" - TSBD-Part 2

This is TOTALLY how the movie should have ended!


Errrmahgaaaaad!

Kalama HS (aka Forks HS in "Twilight")

After our unhealthy snacks at Pop Culture and our little foray at Fort Vancouver, we made a stop in the little town ofKalama (named after Hawaiian born John Kalama; read more about him here)...

I felt compelled to check it out since we were conveniently "in the area"...

Happy Thanksgiving!

Happy Thanksgiving from Jumping Rob!

(image from the "Fuck Yeah Jumping Rob" website!)

*Jumping Rob is the latest internet meme much like Prancing Cera, Strutting Leo and Sad Keanu.

More posts on Jumping Rob:
Robsessed and Daily Fill article

I think the Jumping Rob pics are so fkg hilarious and random! The original photo of Rob jumping was taken in Brazil earlier this month while shooting a scene for "Breaking Dawn" (the last movie, to be split in two, for the "Twilight Saga".

3 for 3 - My "Eclipse" date with Astroboi

Last week, I made it "3 for 3" with my favorite movie date partner Astroboi (for the movies that Bert refuses to watch with me),  the best GBF any girl could ever have. My previous dates with Astroboi included "Twilight" (Nov 08), "Little Ashes" (June 09) and "New Moon" (Nov 09). For those who don't know, Astroboi and I have known each other since 1st grade but weren't friends until junior high.

Don't you just love his polka dot Vans? When I took this photo, he said, "Don't get my bulge in the picture!"! It was so EMBARASSING but funny!!! He says things like that on purpose. We were in line for the movie (see, there's a rope) and there were these girls behind us that probably heard. Ha ha.

In high school, he was quite the fashionista. One of my favorite outfits was his black suede jacket with fringe on the arms. Ride 'em cowboy!  There was also his multi-layered Le Tigre shirts topped off with a Members Only Jacket (wait, this was junior high). In terms of shoes, Astroboi also wore equally interesting footwear to complement his ensembles.  He used to wear brothel creepers as well as Doc Martens, with black and white striped socks I must add. My favorite outfit of his was Prom, in which he wore a silver paisley lame (the shiny material, not "lame" as in "shitty) tuxedo with fingerless black lace gloves. It was very Prince. This was, after all, the mid/late 80's!  We also used to wear matching black Converse and checkered Vans as well. Some things never change!

Anyways...

See? No "Bulge"!

First of all, my thoughts on "Eclipse"...and if you're not into Twilight or the movies, you may choose to skip this whole post or read on just for shitz 'n giggles.

Laughing all the way to the bank...

What I liked:
Let me start by saying that I saw the movie three times with three different people (Astroboi, TORC and another friend with no blog nickname). I also looked at it from different perspectives: purist (book vs. script), cynic/skeptic, fangirl and the level headed adult chick that I am.

Of the three movie adapations, this was by far the best one. "Best" not meaning it was Oscar worthy but meaning it was pretty faithful to the book and included many crucial scenes which makes the fangirls happy. The movie was dark enough for me but had too much romance for Astroboi. The cinematography was beautiful, almost as nice as the Italy scenes in "New Moon" (they had the same DP). The wardrobe was also better and the acting...well, still slightly better than the first two. But that's not saying much.

Let's not kid ourselves here. As much as I think RPattz is a hot piece of mancandy, his portrayal of emo vegetarian vampire, Edward Cullen pales in comparison to his future roles as the amoral Georges duRoy in Guy de Maupassant's turn of the century tale of power, sex and money...

RPattz sexin' up hot cougar Uma Thurman in "Bel Ami"

...along with "Bel Ami", I'm also looking forward to his role as Depression era circus veterinarian Jacob Jankowski in the adaptaion of Sarah Gruen's 2006 historical novel, "Water for Elephants". He gets to sex up Reese Witherspoon in this one...(fans self). Reese plays a circus star and the wife of the charming yet evil ringmaster, played by the chillingly smooth Christophe Waltz (Oscar winner for "Inglourious Basterds").

Nice!

HAWT = RPattz in 1930's period costume

It's like Depp in the 80's trying to break out of his role as babyfaced Officer Tom Hanson in "21 Jumpstreet" by starring in "Crybaby", a 50's teen delinquent/Elvis/musical parody, which had humor and irony which most of his demographic teeny bopper audience missed and then the quirky Burton directed "Ed Wood". RPattz needs to pull a DiCaprio and take other roles where he plays freaky non-heart throbs.

Okay, now don't hate on the Ron Burgundy'ish suit, but fkg A! He actually rocked that Gucci suit! At first, I thought, what a wierd color choice, but then it grew on me. He really stood out on that black carpet. Loved the skinny tie action too. You know what's even better than RPattz's Blue Steel gaze? Look at the signs in the background. The orange one says, "Hey Rob! My name's Becca and I'm legal now! Take me home with you please!"!!!!! WTF!!! Here's my favorite - the pink sign reads, "I'll help you pitch your tent!"(italics are mine)  Down horny fangirls, down!

He is just too pretty for his own good...him and Alexander Skarsgard...

Wait, what was I saying now? Got a little distracted there. Oh yeah, What did I like? The movie had all of the elements of the book that should have been there like the meadow scene, the proposal (with the butt-fkg ugly engagement ring which I obviously dind't like),the Jacob and Bella kiss (the first one where she punches him), the "leg hitch" scene, the tent scene and the battle between the newborns and the vamp/wolf alliance.

"Bella, even though the wood I sport is essentially a rock hard popsicle, please marry me!"

The Vampires
Three words - Major Jasper Whitlock.

Holy Mother Teresa on a flying monkey from the Wizard of Oz. Every movie should have a dirtied up Jackson Rathbone  in Civil War garb riding on a horse.  Yes ma'am!  What an improvement from his constipated and mostly silent persona in the first two films. "Eclipse" goes into Jasper's backstory and we learn how he was turned into a vampire by a woman named Maria and used to create (and destroy) and train newborn vampires. 

Unfortunately,  I couldn't find the uniform/horse pic so this one will have to do. Despite the broke-ass wig and gold contacts, he's still quite the pretty boy. In real life, he has dark hair and sports a bit o' facial hair. He is also a musician and singer with his band, 100 Monkeys (they're pretty good actually). Currently, he is playing a humorless version of Sokka in the M. Night Shymalan shitfest known as "Avatar - The Last Airbender". That movie should be another post in itself. My daughter the Avatar purist was disappointed (not the James Cameron "Avatar" but the Nickelodeon animated series "Avatar")."

"How many times do we get to graduate?"

The Cullens' yellow contacts were still distracting and they looked a little more normal when their eyes were black ("hungry").

The Wolves
Even though the werewolves didn't have a lot of lines or act too much in their human forms (there's a lot of CGI in here), all I gotta say is, "Hello, there Paul!!! (he's the one on the far right)"  Alex Meraz is the only one who doesn't need his abs sprayed on!  Those other guys are flabby as shit! They still can't act either.

The wardrobe department, like the wig department didn't have much of budget...

The movie introduces a female werewolf, Leah Clearwater, daughter of Harry Clearwater (who was killed off by bad Vamp Victoria in the 2nd installment; in the book, Harry dies of a heart attack). Inexplicably she turns up in a "tank top" after phasing back from wolf to human. Of course, the movie company couldn't have her be topless. Can't have any free tittay show for the PG-13 crowd. If that's the case, the werewolves should also be jeans-shorts-less. That's what I'd like to see. Here's another funny tidbit, the CGI wolves weren't allowed to have any genitalia. Ha ha. Neutered wolves.

The Newborns
Coming in a close second to Jasper was the introduction of Aussie hottie Xavier Samuel as Riley, the newborn henchman/pawn to Victoria. He figures more prominently in the movie (he's in the opening scene and most of the closing scene) than in the books. In fact, I'd say they intentionally beefed up his character so there could be more "pretty" in the movie. And no, I'm not complaining. One of my favorite lines is when he screams, "What did I tell you guys about keeping a low profile?" as blood crazed newborns pillage and burn things around them. Melodramatic much?

Props to "30 Days of Night" director, David Slade for making this film as dark as it could be for the crappy rating. The newborns looked amazing as they came up slowly out of the water with their freaky red eyes...kinda like zombies but not. There were also a lot of vampire beheadings in which their heads were twisted off and their bodies crack like marble. The colors in the film were spot on, very crisp and clear and supersaturated. One amazing shot was during a scene where Jacob and Bella kiss - there were mountains and water and the reflections were just beautiful.

Here come the Newborns...

Peter Murphy's Cameo Role
OMFG - this was classic. Peter Murphy, the former lead singer of Bauhaus (and the godfather of Goth)  made a cameo appearance as "The Cold One". He appears in a flashback scene in which the Quileute elders are recounting the tribe's history because the tribe is descended from wolves. "The Cold One" was a Spanish vampire who killed one of the tribe's shape shifting  "spirit warriors".

The photo below is courtesy of Peter Murphy's official site; this was a Twitpic of himself in red contacts, white makeup and wig for his role as "The Cold One". He's already tall and gaunt so I don't think makeup needed to do much with him. He was pretty bad ass in the fifteen seconds he was on film.

Why oh why is this even noteworthy you may wonder? Well,  Peter Murphy and his band Bauhaus are just only the godfathers of Goth Rock. The band also appeared briefly in the 1983 vampire movie, "The Hunger" (starred David Bowie, Susan Sarandon and Catherine Deneuve) performing one of their more well known songs, "Bela Lugosi's Dead". Brit director asked Murphy to star in this plum cameo and how could he refuse?  Nice little in joke which I appreciated. I'm sure this little appearance went unnoticed by most of the teen twi-hards.

One of the last concerts I saw in the early 1990's was Peter Murphy! It was at Symphony Hall and I remember wearing full on black clothes and my pointy black witch shoes for that concert.

What I didn't like:

The "New" Victoria
Summit ditched Rachelle Lefevre for Opie Cunningham's daughter, Bryce Dallas "Lady in the Lake" Howard. Didn't like her snarly toothed performance. And her dimestore Raggedy Ann wig didn't help either. C'mon Summit, you made bajillions from "Twilight" and "New Moon" - couldn't you afford better wigs? Even Taylor Dayne's hair in the "Tell it to My Heart" video looked better than this!

"Why, no my father didn't have to pull strings for me to get this role..."

As for the other characters, Alice still annoys me. If I had rotten tomatoes, I would have viciously thrown them on the screen every time she appeared. Most people really like Alice but I'm so not into her. Well, she DID have a better wardrobe this time around.

Same with the lady who plays the mother. Her forehead is big enough to serve dinner for a party of six. Ummmm, bangs please.

For the Twi-obsessed, I knew that there had been reshoots (cough tent scene cough). You could tell which scenes were the reshoots because Kristen Stewart's hair (Bella) kept changing and so did her eyebrows! There were some ultra-tight close up shots where you couldn't even see the top of her hairline. It was all forehead. Was that to hide the obvious fake wig? During filming, KStew had Joan Jett hair (she'd just finished shooting the biopic, "The Runaways") and that had to be covered up. Again, their budget must have sucked for the wig(s) to look that bad.

They also didn't go into Rosalie's backstory enough about wanting a baby which would explain why she is vehemently against Bella's decision to become a vampire. FAIL. But, I loved her crazed look in her wedding dress as she went to wreak her revenge on her cad fiance. As James
from the first movie would say, it was "visually dynamic"!

Again, while the acting by anyone in this movie isn't going to win any Academy Awards or even a damn Golden Globe for that matter, it was awfully hard not to laugh whenever the wolfboy would speak:

"Hold up...What damn army?"

"Bella, I'm in love with you and I want you to choose me instead of him..."

"I'm barely legal but I still want to you to jump my bones..."

The kid's only 18 (in real life) and one day, years from now, he'll be coming out of the closet. Hey, I'm just sayin'...Gay or not, he's cute in a harmless way.

What was funny:
Any scene with Charlie (Bella's father) - the man and his pornstache stole every scene that he was in. He's kind of a hot pepaw in a redneck sort of way.

"So, are you and Edward, uhhhh..."

Throughout several key points in the movie, Astroboi and I would make various and predominantly vulgar comments. Call us juvenile becase we are. Okay, the comments were mostly from me. We had a hard time keeping in our laughter and probably irritated the people near us.

Like when Bella was scratching Jacob's head (in wolf form), a comment was muttered about a better place in which to scratch him,  or when Edward said, "How come he gets to give you a graduation present?" (referring to Bella's wolf charm on her bracelet). "I've got your graduation present right here". Well, it was funny at the time.

One other moment was during the crucial "leg hitch" scene (yes, chapter 18 in the book). So while Edward and Bella were getting it on hot and "almost" heavy in bed (because as readers know, Edward stops it all because he is a prude and a 107 year old virgin), I started murmuring the song, "We don't have to take our...clothes off....to have a good time...oh no!" It took all the strength I had not to break out into snorts of laughter.

Here's the video to help jog your memory of this long lost musical gem/anthem for "abstinence":

Things to ponder
So, if Edward Cullen spent much of the school year in South America, then later in Volterra, Italy (no doubt moping over his breakup with Bella/all this happens in "New Moon" BTW), how was he able to graduate his senior year?

Jessica Stanley as Valedictorian? Really?

Audience reaction
When I watched "Eclipse" with Astroboi, the audience was more "mature" and there were no catcalls, hysterical shrieks or whistles  whenever Jacob or the shirtless wolves were on screen. There wasn't screaming either during any Edward scenes or girls whispering "yes" during the proposal scene.

When I watched it with my friend (not TORC), there was a whole group of young girls celebrating a birthday party. In my opinion, as a mother, I wouldn't let MY OWN 9 year old aughter see this movie (due to implied sexual themes and the violence/lots of bloodless beheadings). So everytime there was a "kissing scene" (and there were A LOT; hmm, I see a drinking game coming on when this comes on DVD), there was a lot of  whispered "ewwws" and hushed giggling.

And even though there was a lot more action in this film than in "New Moon", it wasn't enough to compensate for what was essentially a moony love triangle and romance movie. So guys that went with their wives/girlfriends or their hags (if they were gay), did you like "Eclipse"? Did you feel there was enough action? I seriously heard someone next to me sigh in boredom at parts...

Bella's character in my opinion, was a fickle bitch who played with Jacob's emotions and only used him as a crutch to fill in the empty void in her life But the teenager in me could still identify with the rush of emotions associated with intense first love...I enjoyed the movie more when I checked in my brain at the door...I still liked the movie better than all three of them. I just wished that RPattz would have shaved those Elvis 'burns though.

The Music (OST and Score)

Lots of Indie bands here like Florence and the Machine, Eastern Conference Champions, The Bravery, and Vampire Weekend. Man, I feel old because I knew who none of them were! Well, I knew of at least three of the musical groups. Of course, they included Muse again (this is really getting old; Muse is playing it smart by selling out because they know that the soundtrack will sell a gazillion units = more $$ for them); the song, "Neutron Star Collision (Love is Forever)"is a bombastic and angsty anthem that is really grating to my ears. 

Overall, I really liked their song placement, especially the beginning of the movie where they show the Summit logo on a rain spattered window with the strains of  The Black Keys' "Chop and Change"; the song plays briefly before Riley is attacked. Another cool song placement was when Victoria and Riley were under a bridge and started going at it! The song was The Dead Weather's menacing, "Rolling in on a Burning Tire". Gotta love Jack White's voice(White Stripes)!

The score was written by Howard Shore (also did the LOTR Trilogy) which had it's moments, but I still like the lush and romantic "New Moon Score" by Alexandre Desplat.Bella's theme ("Compromise")is heard throughout and in which Shore collaborated with the band Metric. Their entry, "Eclipse (All Yours)" is also in the soundtrack as it plays in the end credits. "Jacob's Theme" is also heard in different variations whenever he appears on screen (ex: "Wolf Scent", "First Kiss", "As Easy As Breathing"). Yeah, I still liked the "New Moon Score" much better.

Anyways, that's my take on "Eclipse". I'm not so sure I will see "Breaking Dawn" (book 4) when it comes out in theatres. I really hated that book. Summit is pulling a Deathly Hallows and doing BD as a 2-parter. Man, I feel kind of bad for the actors because they will have to do this until 2012. Sorry, but Edward's character definitely doesn't look like he's supposed to be 17! RPattz is already 24! Yikes!

Coming up...lunch with Astroboi at one of my fave places...

Twilight Dolls

A few weeks ago, TC and I were doing some Christmas shopping at Walmart and in the toy aisle, lo and behold...the Edward Barbie doll! WTF!!!
First of all, there's no FKG way that doll looks like this (see hot photo from the April GQ 2009 RPattz cover below)!!! The doll's hair is a total hair DON'T and the face...don't get me started about the face.... Get this shit - like Edward, the doll's SKIN is also SPARKLY!!!
Of course, you can't have the Edward doll without the Bella doll wchih totally doesn't look like Kristen Stewart. And by the way, there is NO SHIRT underneath that BB Dakota jacket! Nice!

Here they are, side by side. As much as I liked the first three books, I'm not so into it that I'd buy the damn Barbie dolls. These were going for $19.99 each. Hello, the clearance bin is calling you!

And because I couldn't help but mess around and embarass my daughter (who dutifully took this here photo), here I am with the craptastic sparkly Edward doll that I will never ever buy, but will of course, make fun of! Censor bar is covering maniacal look in my eyes.

Hmmm, he has sparkly skin? I wonder if it's all over!

Portland: Day 5 - Madison High School & The View Point Inn

After the Catholic funhouse known as the Grotto, we headed on on our merry way to the View Point Inn, also known as the prom location in the movie, "Twilight". While we were driving there, we passed by this high school...

This is James Madison High School - like the Grotto, it's in the NE area of Portland...What is so great about this school? It was used for "Twilight"!!!! Read more about other films that used this high school as a filming location here !

As a trivia hound, I vaguely remembered from the fan blogs the year before about scenes that were filmed at Madison. The other high school they used for scenes in the movie was Kalama High School (which substituted for Forks High which is actually in Forks, WA) across the river in Kalama, Washington. Kalama High was used for the parking lot scene as well as the exterior shots since the school closely resembled Forks High.
According to the Dark Destinations website:

Filming for Twilight commenced during Spring Break at the school in 2008, though many of the students spent their vacations working as extras in the film. Scenes that were shot in the school included the biology classroom, some hallway shots, as well as the ever-crucial cafeteria scenes. During the production, the local weather did not cooperate with the filmmakers and the production team was forced to generate the rain seen outside the windows.

OMFG - The Biology "I Jizzed in my Pants Scene!" Ha ha! That scene cracked me up in the theatre, but I don't think that was the original intention. Edward covers his nose with his hands because the smell of Bella's blood is so strong that he has to fight his immediate urge to kill her and tear her throat out. But, the effect was kind of wrong. Plus there was a drawing of a penis-looking planaria on the whiteboard but that's besides the point!

And the Eye Fkg cafeteria scene."Who's that?".... "That's Edward Cullen...don't even bother!" By the way, the actress saying that is Anna Kendrick who plays frenemy Jessica Stanley. She is the young actress in the new Clooney film, "Up in the Air". She's up for SAG Award as well as a Golden Globe. There is Oscar buzz....who would have thought! That's awesome for her!

Oh yeah, and "Go Spartan Spirtit!" (a "blink and you'll miss it" poster seen briefly when Bella opens the door to leave the main office after finding Edward trying to change out of Biology class). Look for it in the DVD. It's there. Nice job with the spelling prop sign people. Fail.

So seeing Madison High was kind of unexpected. My ever so patient husband (who is remarkably tolerant of my Twilight obsession) obliged my request to stop and take photos of the school....Continuing on our way, we passed by another location of Burgerville...
Wandering Chopsticks (who used to live in Portland) recommended eating here. It was still early for lunch so we made plans to eat there on the way back from the View Point Inn... The View Point Inn in located on Larch Mountain Road in Corbett. It's a Tudor style inn that's nearly a century old. It sits atop a bluff that overlooks gorgeous views of the Columbia River Gorge. As also because I'm a trivia buff, this particular location was used in the prom scene in "Twilight".
Here's a clip from a Portland news channel last Spring 2008 during the filming of the Prom Scene.

Ooh Rpattz!!! Ha ha. I noticed that they had the original release date, December 12th. The movie was later moved up to November 21 because Warner Brothers Studios decided to postpone releasing "Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince" until Summer 2009, which prompted Summit to move up the release date of "Twilight".
There was a walkway (there was a sign posted declaring, "Twilight Walk of Fame") where fans of the series could buy a brick to help fund raise for the Inn (which is in danger of closing).

View of the Gorge by the lawn...

Another view looking west:

Here's me by the pond which was covered with a gazebo for the prom dance scene...

More of the Inn... the first floor of the Inn has a giftshop (more on that later) and a restaurant (overpriced).

Western view of the Columbia River...

Here's a left over prop from the movie, the Monte Carlo arch...

Here's the full prom scene here...The arch shows up at 2:41.

After freezing our asses off because it was supercold and windy as fk, we went into the Inn to check out the inside...

Here's TC making a goofy face...

More bricks from the Twilight Walk of Fame

The middle window is where the bad vamp Victoria was looking out of when Bella and Edward were dancing in the prom scene...

Right here!

Ha - this was hilarious. In the View Point Inn's gift shop, they all these Twilight related items, like soap! Get this, one of them was named "Bella Berry". Okay, that's not so bad. But what about "Eward's Essence"? Hmmm, what exactly is Edward's Essence? I'm not sure I want to know. Oh yeah, those soaps were $6 a pop! Pass.

There were also photographs on sale from when Kristen Stewart and Rob Pattinson were filming at the Inn. Since it was mega cold that night (20's), they were bundled in heavy parkas between takes. Imagine being in a sheer formal dress in that weather! Yikes! On another note, I totally dig RPattz's pompadour!

The View Point Inn also had limited edition Christmas ornaments - I bought one for my friend's ornament exchange party (which incidentally passed last week - the ornament was stolen twice during the gift exchange game, stolen by a Twi-hard!). No, I did not buy one for myself!

We lucked out that day. One of the employees (a young guy in his late teens or early 20's), recognizing my Twi interest told us we could go UPSTAIRS and look at the rooms!!!! Besides us, there was also another couple with their daughter there. Same reason we went. Ha ha. We totally took him up on the offer! The rooms weren't in use at the time (since this is an Inn, you can obviously stay in the rooms for a fee)...More info on the rooms here. I thought that was pretty nice of the employee to have that much trust in us to do that...

View from the middle window...

One of the bathrooms facing out towards the lawn...

Here's TC in the room called "Le Petite Alcove, A cozy sleeping loft
Queen bed, shared bath, includes continental breakfast $130.00.

Looks kind of small to me.
Check out the endng since scene of Twilight here

Here I am standing on the same stairwell that Victoria slunk down at the very end of Twilight (cue "15 Step" by Radiohead here):

Goodbye View Point Inn! I hope you guys aren't closed down due to the economy!

Heading out...

to grab some lunch at Burgerville in the SE

On our way back to SE Portland, I noticed Oxbow Regional Park along the Gorge...If I had googled it ahead of time, I would have made the Twilight connection, dammit. That was where they filmed the VAMPIRE BASEBALL SCENE. More info here. [edit - oh yeah - turns out that location is inaccessible to the public].